Addressing the Issue of Erections during Corporal Punishment
|by Jeffrey R Keller Md|
Copyright on this story text belongs at all times to the original author only, whether stated explicitly in the text or not. The original date of posting to the MMSA was: 18 Mar 2005
I feel obligated to address the sensitive issue of sex in relation to Corporal punishment. First of all, we need to get our definitions correct. They say that the Eskimos have hundreds of definitions of snow. Perhaps it is because of our Puritan roots (at least here in the US), we have almost the opposite when it comes to the word sex. It is a word that has many meanings. It can be a noun and a verb. It refers to gender as well as to an act. And almost universally, when the word is uttered or written, it causes the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end. Grown men often blush. Sex can be considered a good thing as when a husband and wife procreate….or a bad thing as well a man rapes a woman.
I raise this subject because of all of the emails and comments I get at PTA meetings and email correspondence about how parents fear that their boys are sexually stimulated by spanking. The problem is understanding what ‘sexually stimulated’ is.
Let’s understand one thing. Sex is a very powerful emotion. This is even more true in younger adolescents who are just learning to cope with the emotions associated with what we call sex. Emotions rule our bodies. Be it fear, joy, sadness, guilt or sex….these emotions, when released by our mind all release a chemical cocktail within our bodies. These speed heart rate…release sweat and sensitize the skin….heighten our senses …..and take control of our bodies. To the extreme, they can cause us to faint or lose control of our bladder. They can make us cry or laugh.
Sex is just one of these range of emotions that can control our body. This is not a bad thing nor is it a good thing. It is a fact of life. Like any emotion, you cannot control it. It controls you.
When your boy has a spontaneous erection, it is not because you are turning him on sexually or that he wants to have sex with you or anyone else for that matter. It could just be that his member is stretching itself. It could also be from the exposure –either the guilt associated with being seen naked or the rush of air touching the skin of his organ which houses many sensitive nerves close to the surface. Remember a boy’s sexual sensitivity increases greatly between ages 12 and 15 and continues to escalate till ages 21 to 23. It is said that a boy’s sexual sensitivity is 100 times greater than a man in his mid-forties.
What has this to do with spanking? If you saw the male nervous system, you would see a complex highway that moves from the penis to the prostate and the anal muscles at times can press against many of these nerves depending on the boy’s age and anatomy. When being spanked, a boy automatically clenches his sphincter muscles very hard…so hard that oftentimes the muscles tire and he ends up clenching and unclenching during the course of the spanking. For many boys, this muscular activity actually causes prostate stimulation which in turn translates to penile stimulation. For this reason, a spanking will often result in an erection but it usually takes some manner of touch to the penis to result in ejaculation. So do not be overly alarmed if your boy erects.
It should also be pointed out that when a boy is circumcised his anatomy is altered sufficient to alter his sexual response. On a circumcised boy, the most sensitive area of his penis –where the nerves are clearly bunched and closest to the surface of the skin is just below the glans. This is called the frenulum and is visible on the penis as a dark color band. In non-circumcised boys, the glans oftentimes rivals the frenulum in sensitivity. Before circumcision, the glans is sheathed by a fold of skin. It is protected, kept moist and thus highly stimulated when exposed to air. After circumcision the glans is never covered and the very soft surface tissues do not stay moist and actually develop a slightly hard, surface-covering reducing sensitivity somewhat. If you were to palpate the glans of a circumcised and non-circumcised boy, you would feel a pronounced difference in the texture of this spongy surface. Non-circumcised boys tend to respond when their penis is exposed to air for that reason. They tend to erect more.
When spanking a boy, try to avoid tactile stimulation of his penis. If you spank him over your knee, try to avoid friction with your pant leg or towel if you use a towel to protect yourself from emissions. If you spank your boy on the bed or over a pillow, position the penis behind the boy.
But stimulation is not a bad thing. Understand that this is not sex. An erection is merely an anatomical response to stimuli. Some of you have heard me make this reference before so I apologize for repeating myself. An erection is a tool…a special tool. It is like a very long screw driver that allows you to reach and turn a screw that a normal screw driver would not reach. As a tool, if your boy erects, it will actually enhance the punishment experience. It allows you to reach deep into his psyche.
When your boy erects, it is he that should be shamed, embarrassed and humiliated. That will add to his punishment experience. And the more you add to that experience the less you may have to punish him which is, afterall, our goal. There is no need to call his erection to his attention. He knows it. He will be more than sufficiently humiliated and if he hopes that somehow you did not see it …that’s just fine. But just because he erects on you does not mean that you are sexually arousing him. If your boy walked around naked all day and you could observe him, you would see how often he spontaneously erects. The fact that during your counseling of him he displays his penis in maximus erectus should give him pause before he puts himself in that position.
Additionally, quite a few have written about your boys having an ejaculatory release during his punishment. In the vast majority of cases, this is probably caused by friction to his penis not because of any heightened sexual stimulation by the spanking. When you slap the boy’s behind, the boy frequently responds to the impact by a downward thrust. If he is over your lap that thrust can actually correspond to friction being directly applied to his penis. Perhaps unconsciously, your boy is trading a little pain for some pleasure….or maybe not so unconsciously. While he may not realize it, his orgasm will actually enhance the pain of his spanking. The sexual climax releases a veritable chemical cocktail within the boy which causes among other things the pores of his skin to open to the max. That in turn makes the sting of the spank hurt that much more. For those of you whose religious tenets prohibit ejaculation, this can be controlled by eliminating the friction to the undersurface of his penis. Rather than let your boy do downward-thrusts, make him raise his backside to greet the spank and not thrust downward. This not only eliminates the friction on his penis but it forces him to participate in his own spanking.
One other thing to be aware of: the anal muscles when they constrict also impact the urogenital muscles. This too adds to the stimulation of the sexual organ. Be aware that a boy’s testicles move freely inside the scrotum. This freedom is somewhat constricted by clothing and position of the body. But when a boy is standing naked, legs apart, for example during a physical examination or lying in a supine position, legs slightly apart, it is possible to observe the testicles moving so freely as to make the penis flip-flop on its own without touch. This is particularly true when the boy is nervous. The muscles of the anal region actually connect to the muscles of the urogenital reason via the perineum. When you spank a boy on his glutes, part of that message is also delivered to the genital area via the perineum. But this in part explains why the backside of the boy delivers so many signals to the brain. And it explains why a spanking is so effective a messenger.
Some of you have written about spanking bare-assed vs. spanking when totally naked. Does it really matter? Well, from a pain standpoint, probably not a whole lot. However, from the standpoint of maximizing embarrassment it does matter. Remember you want to create an atmosphere that discourages repetition of that which has earned your boy his punishment. The infliction of pain is one way to provide the discouragement of repeating the offense. However, boys can develop a tolerance for pain. Making the boy strip naked adds considerably to his embarrassment and humiliation and also forces him to take a more active role in his punishment (unless you strip him of his clothing yourself). Embarrassment and humiliation releases that chemical cocktail within the boy that heightens the receptors to the pain he is about to receive. The spanking is more communicative as a result and the need to spank severely is lessened. Therefore, in my opinion, making the boy receive his spanking totally naked is far more effective. A boy can even take solace in being allowed to leave his socks on. He should not be given solace during time of punishment.
For those of you who do not want your son to ejaculate during punishment, eliminate friction to the underside of the penis. For the rest of you who suffer no such pangs of guilt or whose religious tenets are not so strict…go with the flow. The boy will remember his punishment and feel its sting much more effectively should he release. And as your urologist will tell you it is a healthy thing.
I realize this is a delicate subject. But an informed spanker is a more effective one.
Further questions or comments regarding this treatise can be addressed to Pedprac@yahoo.com.