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Lessons Learned at Old Man Farmer's Store

by Christophorus Volkov

Copyright on this story text belongs at all times to the original author only, whether stated explicitly in the text or not. The original date of posting to the MMSA was: 19 Dec 2017


The motion sensor in the back of Old Man Farmer’s Hardware tripped, and an image of an empty storeroom popped up on Jonathan’s phone.

Since Old Man Farmer died 15 years ago, Jonathan owned the legendary hardware store at Oak and Main buying it off Old Man Farmer’s wife and family. Jonathan worked for Old Man Farmer in high school, and he felt like he was carrying on the legacy of the family hardware store downtown.

Jonathan was a loner. He worked long, hard hours and had little time for a personal life. In fact, he spent his time mentoring and giving young people their first jobs.

He only lived a block or block and a half away from the store, so, he put on his overalls and climbed out into the frigid night.

I reckon something fell back there in the store and tripped the motion sensor, Jonathan told his dog, Roy. Roy licked himself and put his head back down on the pillow.

Some guard dog, thought Jonathan.

Jonathan was pushing 40. The last 15 years trying to keep the shop afloat had taken their toll, but Jonathan loved his life. After all, it was just him and Roy in the house.

Jonathan raised the bars on the front door of the store, and he unlocked it. He opened the door and entered the store nothing seemed out of place or out of order. It was peculiar. Jonathan was too cheap to have his alarm monitored, and, because he was so close to the business, he figured it would be him and his handgun that kept the place safe.

He had rigged the alarm to lock the back door of the store from the outside when the alarm tripped so that a would-be burglar would have trouble escaping. Many years in the hardware business had made him handy and creative.


Jonathan disarmed the alarm, and he switched on the light. The small shop seemed empty. Jonathan had the peculiar feeling that he was not alone, however. As he went behind the counter, he heard some rustling in the stock room behind him.

Cautiously, Jonathan peered into the dark room. He could see a light coming from outside the back of the store shining through the frosted window. Still nothing seemed out of place.

As he walked to the edge of his workbench island in the middle of the room, he could see a pair of long legs and a big round ass sticking out of the broken exhaust vent. In his hurry, the intruder had tried to escape through the back vent. He got stuck.

Jonathan leaned down near the would-be offender. Who’s out there? asked Jonathan, half laughing.

Uh...Mr. Sigakowski? came back the muffled reply.

Who wants to know?

From the look of the ass and legs hanging out of his vent, Jonathan could tell that it was Parker Matusak.

Even the straightest man had to notice that Parker was thick below the waist. He had, what they call a donk. For some reason, he had gotten himself wedged in the vent and he couldn’t get back out.

Jonathan remembered Parker had been in the store about closing time begging for his job back.

Parker...Parker...Parker, said Jonathan.

Oh, hi Mr. S.

Don’t Hi Mr. S. me, kid. You know what you done. see...uh...I left my phone in here today, and...uh...I picked the lock to get in back here. Uh...I just got panicky when the alarm went off, and...uh...I tried to get out this door but now I’m stuck.

Right, I rigged the door to lock from the outside. Now you have yourself in a definite pickle, don’t you? I’ll come around outside. Hold on.

Parker was a reformed bad kid who once worked in the shop, but he was no doubt scrounging around inside the store looking for something to steal. Jonathan had fired him for taking money out of the cash register.

Jonathan walked around the back side of the store to find the top half of Parker protruding from the broken vent. He was barely able to extend his tired arms upright. Parker turned his head and looked up at Jonathan. Even in the dark, Jonathan could still see Parker’s blue eyes, and he knew he was lying about why he was in the store. Parker’s mop of dark hair hung messily across his face.

So, you’re lying to me, aren’t you, Parker?

No, Mr. S. I’m serious! I was just trying to get my phone. I...I didn’t want to bother you because it’s 3:30 am, sir. I didn’t know you got an alarm.

I’d like to believe you, son, but you can’t blink your little blue eyes at me and think I’m going to let you out of this.

Sir, I’m so cold. Can you please help me out? I promise. I’ll explain everything. Just get me out of this vent.

Nah, I think I’m gonna go home. Old Roy’s probably wondering where I am. He won’t be happy about you waking him up. In fact, he might grab ’hold of you and hump you the next time he sees you.

That’s...that’s not funny, Mr. S!

Well, it’s not funny whatcha done. I oughta call Cledus and get his old bones over here, said Jonathan. Cledus was the town marshall. He was older dirt and twice as useless.

In fact, about that time, Jonathan’s cellphone rang. It was Cledus.

Before answering, Jonathan looked at Parker in the eyes, Well, here’s Cledus calling now. Let me put it on speaker....Good morning my friend! Parker’s baby blues grew to the size of the full moon. He couldn’t have his wrestling coach at State find out about this petty break-in.

You got trouble at yer store, Johnny, said the old lawman. Maybelle called Franklin. He was tryin’ to get ’hold of ya, but she dint have yer number. Do ya need me?

Parker looked at Jonathan. Something in the young man’s eyes did get to Jonathan. Perhaps he could teach him another kind of lesson.

No, Cledus. I’m here now. It was just a false alarm.

Ok then. You hafta come over someday. Mary Beth and I want to treat ya and that old bloodhound of yers to some steaks.

No problem Cledus, I’ll get back to you. Bye now!

Parker breathed a sigh of relief. Jonathan dragged over a small cement block, and he sat down. He lit a cigarette and took a drag blowing out the smoke so it billowed across the alley.

So, are you going to help me? said Parker, breaking the silence.

You know what, kid. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to help save you and the other damn miscreants in this little town, and I have no idea why I’m doing it tonight. I should have had Cledus drag you down to the lockup and called that coach of yours up at State.

No sir, if you do that, I’m off the team. I lose my scholarship.

If you’re just here to get your phone, then why would you lose your scholarship?

Shit, Parker thought to himself. His mouth and his cock were always the two things to get him into trouble.

Do you want to tell me why you were here? asked Jonathan.

Ok sir. I’ll tell you. I was trying to find some money so I could buy a joint. It wasn’t for me, I swear.

Who was it for then?

My little brother.

He’s only 16, Parker! Why do you want to get him started on smoking?

He thinks I’m cool, Mr. S. I don’t want to be a drag, Parker looked down.

Jonathan reached over and grabbed Parker’s hair pulling up his head. Parker’s big blue eyes grew wide as he looked at the older man.

Sometimes, as a big brother, you have to be a drag, said Jonathan. That’s your job.

Jonathan let go of Parker’s head and rubbed his shoulders as the 20-year-old began to cry a little. Jonathan took another drag off his cigarette.

Listen, Parker. I have nothing against pot. Hell, I’ve smoked a few joints in my lifetime, but your brother doesn’t need this now. He’s wrestling at the high school. There’s no way they’re going to keep him in school if he doesn’t pass a drug test. How will you feel after that?

Parker’s sobs started to get a little louder. He knew Jonathan was right. He also knew his brother would be disappointed, but he could deal with that.

Jonathan crushed his cigarette out on the ground and, standing up, placed his crushed out butt in the bucket near the back door.

Mr. S, please don’t report me to my coach, sir. I’m sorry about this.

Jonathan had no intention of reporting Parker to anyone or anything. Parker reminded him a little of himself growing up. He just needed a little homespun discipline.

One time, a younger Jonathan left the lights on overnight in the shop, and Old Man Farmer paddled his bare ass the next day after he was nonchalant about it. You don’t understand the power of the dollar! the old man yelled as he whaled away on Jonathan’s ass. He couldn’t sit down for the remainder of the day. Maybe this was the moment Parker for Parker.

Sir, I’ll do anything. Don’t report me to my coach, please! cried Parker as if Jonathan held his future in his hands.

Without saying another word, Jonathan started to walk away. As he turned the corner, heading back toward the front of the shop, he heard Parker say, Where are you going? You can’t leave me here!

Jonathan had no intention of leaving him there. Instead, he was going to send Parker to the Old Man Farmer School of Street Discipline

He reentered the store and walked to the back storeroom. He grabbed a stool and pulled it over to where Parker was halfway out the exhaust vent. The problem was that while his top half was just small enough to fit inside, his big ass could not fit through it. It was a miscalculation. When he tried to push back through, the broken parts of the vent latched around him not allowing him to go either way.

He was positioned face down with his knees on the storeroom floor. Just perfect for an old-fashioned spanking.

Jonathan reached around and unhooked Parker’s belt buckle. He took off Parker’s belt. He unbuttoned the young man’s jeans and unzipped the fly.

What are you doing, Mr. S? asked a suddenly nervous Parker.

I’m doing what I should have done to you a long time ago.

You going to fuck me in the ass? I heard you’re gay!

Parker next felt his jeans starting to slide down his massive quads and past his knees. They slid further down over his calves and to his ankles.

Jonathan reached for the waistband of Parker’s designer underwear and carefully pulled them down up and over Parker’s big ass and down his long legs and around to his ankles.

Please, don’t fuck me. I mean...I’ve had a finger up there, but I’ve never had a cock. Don’t fuck me, please. I’ll...I’ll suck your cock man.

Parker’s hairless ass was now out and exposed. Jonathan grabbed the young man’s belt, doubled it over, and began to slam it across the muscular glutes.


Parker felt the intense sting of the first hit, but he could not really yell out. He didn’t want the nearby neighbors to see him in this humiliating position.


Another hit rocked Parker’s rock hard ass.


Faint pink marks began to show on the young man’s skin.


Parker moved and contorted his body.


The pink marks now crisscrossed the beautiful ass.


Parker closed his eyes and tried to think of other thoughts.


A searing pain grew with each passing stroke of the belt on the perfectly shaped butt.

This went on for another 15 minutes. Jonathan raised the belt and brought it down on Parker’s defenseless ass. Parker cried big tears, but he didn’t dare yell out everything he wanted to yell out.

Jonathan heard only a few muffled groans and noticed the squirming as the pink marks became red marks across Parker’s seat. On the very last hit, the belt struck between Parker’s legs and on his tender scrotum.

AHYEEEOUWWWW! yelped Parker. At 3:50 am, it sounded like a feral cat’s meow, so no one around the store thought anything about it. Parker had been stuck in the vent.

Finally, Jonathan grabbed a screwdriver and unscrewed the vent. The vent stayed in place as the young man pulled his way back into the store. He now stood with his pants at his ankles and an exhaust vent stuck around his waist.

Jonathan surveyed the situation. The only thing he could think of was using some of the lubricant in the store, oiling Parker up, and letting the vent slide over his abs, chest and shoulders.

This is going to seem weird, but I’m going to need to oil you up to get this off you unless you want me to use some pretty nasty equipment around your man parts.

Whatever you have to do, said Parker, holding his throbbing ass. Just get me out of this.

Parker removed his shirt and Jonathan began to rub some lubricant on him beginning at his waist and then working up. As he rubbed, he noticed that Parker’s cock was beginning to grow. Pretty soon, he was at half...then full mast.

Something rose.

An embarrassed Parker tried to hide his erection, but the exhaust vent wouldn’t allow him to reach it.

I’m sorry, Mr. S. It’s just that...well.

Yeah, I know, you’re a 20-year-old guy. It rises in a stiff wind, laughed Jonathan.

It relieved the tension. Man, you really understand me, Mr. S. Thanks.

Jonathan had the entire top half of the young man covered with a layer of lubricant.

Ok. I think I should try to lubricate the area right below the vent and maybe try to reach your waist underneath.

Parker put his hands on the top of his head. Jonathan sat down on the stool with Parker’s hard cock inches away from his face. He started to put lubricant in the area between the exhaust vent and the top of Parker’s cock. As he rubbed the lube on, he noticed Parker had closed his eyes.

You can finish me off, if you want, Mr. S. I’m close, said Parker.

What do you mean?

I cock. You know. I’m close know...cumming. You can finish me off.

Jonathan shook his head. You’re just gonna have to have blue balls.

With that, Jonathan grabbed the young man by the balls and squeezed.

You listen here, you little shit. I’m not fucking gay. This is the second time you pulled this gay thing on me, Parker was more surprised by this anger from Jonathan than he was even just a few minutes ago while he was being spanked.

Jonathan continued, Now, I got no problem with gay people at all, and, if you are, that’s fine. I know how hard it is to be gay, but you shouldn’t assume that about people or that I’d want to grab your massive rod and jerk you off so you can get some kind of jollies out of this situation. That ain’t fair to me or to gay people.

Parker could feel something inside. It was that feeling that cumming was inevitable. He was trying to hold it back.

I just want you to know that I’m trying to help you out of this little issue, and I’m not interested in your boy parts or your charm. You also shouldn’t assume just because someone may or may not be gay that they would enjoy jerking you off, you jerk. You got me? asked Jonathan.


Jonathan slapped downward on Parker’s hard cockhead. As he did, the cock let loose a shot of cum that went across the shop room and hit the wall 10 feet away. It was followed by an impressive load of cum.

Jonathan couldn’t believe it.

I’m...uh...sor...sorry, sir. It’s just that...tha...I told you...I..uh.

I know what you said, kid. I know. I’m just glad I got out of the way before Old Faithful blew. You’re cleaning that up, son.

Jonathan grabbed the exhaust vent and pulled up. It slid up and over Parker’s belly, chest, and his shoulders. His head and arms popped free. He smiled a huge smile.

Thank you. Thank you so much, sir.

Jonathan handed him a mop, and, while still butt naked, he mopped up his cumshot and cleaned the wall. He stepped into the shower in the back of the store and washed off the lubricant. Parker put on his underwear, jeans, and t-shirt after drying off and Jonathan let him out of the store.

Jonathan pounded the exhaust vent back into some sort of usable shape and put it back into the hole on the wall. He’d fix it better in a few hours.

The shop would open in a few hours, but Jonathan couldn’t stay. He had to get home to let Roy out. He was probably floating by now. He reset the alarm and stepped out into the cold alleyway in the back of the store.

Parker was waiting for him.

Sir, I’m really sorry about everything tonight. I...uh...I let all my bad parts of know, my cock always gets me in troub...and...uh.

You said you were sorry. That’s enough.

Thanks Mr. S. know...uh...

I’m not telling anyone nothin...except maybe Old Roy, and he don’t talk to nobody.

Mr. S., can I walk with you?

Sure. It’s only block or two.

Yeah but Palmdale ain’t what it used to be. I heard some idiot got stuck in the vent at Old Man Farmer’s Hardware Store.

Jonathan smiled and put up his hood. The big wrestler put his arm around the older man.

Thanks, Mr. S. You taught me more than my dad ever did tonight.

He looked into Parker’s blue eyes and nodded as they walked into the dark.

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