Spanking Tournament of Champions
Copyright on this story text belongs at all times to the original author only, whether stated explicitly in the text or not. The original date of posting to the MMSA was: 24 Feb 2018
It all began with a boast at the Moonburn spanking party in Los Angeles.
That dude has the toughest
butt here, maybe in the entire country, Max said to a few of his assembled friends, after administering
a blistering paddling to Billy, a regular well into his 30s who still looked like a teen, earning him
Billy the Twink.
No fucking way, Colin replied.
He can take a paddling like a champ, but switch to something
leather, like a strap, and he’ll tap out in no time.
What about Cooper? Jay offered the name of his current favorite spanking bottom.
Bullshit, Max replied.
He wouldn’t last 5 minutes over my knee.
The men debated the merits of the various dudes they’d spanked over the years, highlighting the toughest ones, the ones most into serious, ass-blistering spankings. Between Max, Colin, and Jay, plus a couple more guys who joined them at an impromptu after party, the men had spanked well over 100 dudes in their time. Sort of like a discussion about sports, religion, or politics, however, there was no real resolution.
The entire flight home to New York City, Max was preoccupied with one question—who has the toughest spanking bottom in the country? It seemed like an impossible question to answer.
Sure, there were the guys into spanking, but they were only a tiny subset of the population. More importantly, there were the guys who’d gotten intense disciplinary spankings growing up. They were the real experts in how to take an ass burning, whether they enjoyed spanking or not. Then there were the athletes, soldiers, fighters, tough guys, and adrenaline junkies who were used fighting through pain. And some guys seemingly for no reason had an exceptional ability to take pain, so it was entirely possible the toughest spankee could be a rando, or just a guy who was properly motivated to take it no matter how bad the spanking got.
If you really wanted to answer the question, you’d need to attract a broad cross-section of the male population, not just guys in the spanking scene. Then you’d need to test them with different implements. You’d also need to build in recovery time to avoid causing real injury. Toughness, endurance, and grit would all be at a premium. Even if the guy was willing to fight on, his butt would need to be tough enough to hold up under an increasingly brutal series of punishments.
Never one to let something go easily, Max formulated a plan.
You might think the toughest question to answer about a spanking competition would be the why—as in, why the hell would any man voluntarily decide to enter one?
A private equity executive, Max knew the simple reason most people did most things—money. All he needed to do was post a sizeable cash prize, anonymously, of course, and that would guarantee guys would enter the competition. $50,000 seemed like the right amount. Max had a carry distribution coming due and $50k would be enough to provide the proper incentive without breaking the bank. Max hoped money wasn’t the only reason, however, that men would join. Some of the guys might like the competitive aspect of the tournament, wanting to prove once and for all that they had the toughest ass on the school yard. You could get men intensely focused on shit when it was styled as a competition. From pickup basketball games to corporate deals, there seemed to be little that motivated men more than the possibility of besting other men.
It turned out the how was the much harder question.
Actually running a bona fide competition would be a massive undertaking, requiring a huge investment
in time and resources. A venue would have to be rented, a registration process created, contracts and
waivers drafted, and ads posted to drum up interest. Max formed an ad hoc
steering committee, consisting
of his friends in the spanking community, to help get things started. Fortunately, one of Max’s best friends
from college, Nate, was a professional event planner. Best of all, Nate was the kind of guy who’d have
no qualms about calling a hotel to inquire about hosting a spanking competition.
Once Nate got going, things began to fall into place. He found a hotel in Chelsea that would serve as the venue for the competition. To help offset the considerable expenses, Nate recommended charging the contestants a modest entry free and selling a few pricey all-access passes to spectators interested in watching the competition. Sponsors could even be recruited. Attendance at the hotel would be strictly limited to those with the proper credentials.
Max was impressed by how talented his spanking friends turned out to be. Jay was a lawyer who drafted the waiver and contract that all entrants had to sign. Colin was a high-powered marketing executive who developed a multi-tiered plan for getting word out about the competition. Meanwhile, Cooper, the dude that Jay was spanking, turned out to be a programmer who created a website for the competition, including an online portal where guys could register.
The who turned out to be easy, at least on the spanker side. Among Max’s spanking buddies,
there was no shortage of guys willing to devote a weekend to spanking dudes who’d be trying to tough it
out, no matter how hard it got, to earn a $50,000 prize. Max wanted to keep things fun and interesting
and contemplated recruiting a few spanking
celebrities to serve as judges too.
Out of all these efforts, the
Spanking Tournament of Champions, as Max dubbed it,
SPK Tourney, for short, emerged. Max liked to refer to it as the
March Madness of spanking,
in honor of his favorite sporting event, the NCAA college basketball tournament.
Like any tournament, proper rules and structure were essential. The competition was limited to men 18 years and over. Each prospective entrant had to submit an application with basic demographic information, a picture, and a background section on their spanking history and why they wanted to participate. They targeted Super Bowl Sunday for sending out invitations—Max loved the idea of dudes getting emails informing them that they’d been selected for a spanking competition while they were hanging with their buddies and girlfriends at Super Bowl parties.
Once the competition started, it would proceed in successive rounds until there was a single champion.
After an initial 10-minute hand spanking, termed
Qualifiers, each round would involve a progressively
harder implement. Max reasoned that starting with Qualifiers was appropriate, since no man should
be given full credit for competing in the Spanking Tournament of Champions if he couldn’t make it through
a simple hand spanking. Max suspected many of the guys would be shocked at the severity of the punishment,
and after a few rounds, they’d be down to a relatively small number of dudes who had a real shot at winning.
By design, there were three ways to get eliminated from the tournament. At any point during the competition,
the contestant could swallow his pride and utter the safe word
Uncle, as suggested by Colin, and
his spanking would immediately cease. The other two means of elimination involved the
officials responsible for overseeing the contest.
At any time, a Spanking Judge could determine that a contestant was unable to continue safely competing,
in which case the spanking would stop. Finally, the Spanking Judge could warn a contestant for interfering
due and just administration of the spanking, as Jay called it—for instance, a guy
reaching back to try to protect his behind. For severe or repeated acts of interference, the contestant
would be disqualified by the Spanking Judge.
Max’s goal for the inaugural Spanking Tournament of Champions was 50 guys. The competition was announced and the website went live around Halloween time. By early November, a dozen guys had signed up, mostly guys into spanking, like Billy the Twink.
In the following weeks, they had a steady stream of applicants, largely as a result of the marketing
plan. A Twitter account created for the event issued cheeky tweets, targeting straight guys in their late
teens and early 20s. Colin, in a stroke of brilliance, set the Twitter avatar as a hot looking sorority
babe, who tweeted out messages like,
You man enough to take a little spanking? Other ads posted
on mainstream websites stressed the cash prize.
Then in a totally unexpected stroke of luck, the tournament went
viral. It was all because
of a nationally syndicated shock jock, Rusty Burns, who hosted a morning show,
Rusty and the Boys,
featuring frat-boy style humor that appealed to straight guys who wanted to hear interviews with porn
stars on their commutes into the office.
It was the week before Thanksgiving that Rusty first mentioned the tournament.
Welcome back, folks, Rusty started, just after returning from break around 7:30am.
days, they seem to have a competition for everything. There are hot dog eating contests, smallest dick
contests—hell, there’s even the WNBA! But seriously folks, the one that caught my eye recently was
this new spanking contest they’ve got going. You heard of that, Lar?
Larry, Rusty’s perennial side-kick, feigned surprise.
Well, spank my butt, but I haven’t, Rusty.
Well, get over here, young man, because I’m about to teach you a lesson, Rusty hammed it up.
Rusty launched into a monologue explaining the basics of the competition, and then things got interesting.
Rusty pressed a button that blasted a prerecorded,
Folks, I’m even gonna tell you, my loyal listeners, who’s going to win this magnificent new competition,
Our very own Chad the Intern! We signed him up last night!
You what? Chad asked.
Chad the Intern was a real enough guy, a good-looking 20 year
old broadcasting major from a local college outside Denver, where the show was recorded, but on the morning
show, he seemed to exist only to serve as the butt of Rusty’s pranks.
Is that even legal? Larry asked playing along.
It’s legal enough for me! Rusty replied.
Chad here is a shoe-in. Wanna know why, Chaddy?
Because if you can’t take an ass on fire, we’ll fire your ass! But don’t you worry, Uncle Rusty has a
training regimen planned for you. By tourney time, you’ll be ready to win the $50k!
endorsement of the competition had a snowballing effect. A bunch of stories were written
about the competition, not all of which were positive, but for the most part the press treated it as a
novelty. In the wake of all that publicity, enrollment skyrocketed. After a senior from Villanova, Spencer
Davis, posted a YouTube video announcing his entry into the Spanking Tournament of Champions, a bunch
of guys followed suit with their own videos.
It wasn’t just the number of guys signing up that was striking—it was the diversity of the
crowd too. One of the guys was a former Navy seal, and he wasn’t the only military man to enter—there
was a recent graduate of the Navy Academy and a couple of West Point cadets too. The better part of the
starting offense from a D-3 college football team joined for some reason. On the part of the application
that asked about why he was applying, one man wrote,
Came in last in fantasy football league. Two
18 year-old twins from Texas said they were willing to drive cross-country for a shot at the $50,000 prize.
An up-and-coming MMA fighter through his hat in the ring as well. Enough frat dudes signed up that Max
could start his own fraternity.
They weren’t all straight either. A gay couple CJ (27 years old) and Tom (25 years old) signed up together, which Max found endearing.
Lots of men entered for a shot at the money, figuring that they had endured countless spankings for free over the years, and so they might as well try to earn some money out of it. There were a couple Wall Street dudes too, who probably didn’t need the money, but were doing it for the same reasons guys signed up to run the New York City Marathon—to test their limits. And then there was poor Chad the Intern. Rusty hadn’t been totally truthful with his audience. Rusty hadn’t really signed up Chad without his consent. That never would have been allowed. But two days after Rusty’s show, a Chad Young from Colorado submitted an application.
Early in the New Year, Max met with his steering committee to select the SPK Tourney competitors.
With well over 5,000 applicants for just 200 slots, the maximum number the hotel could accommodate, according
to Nate, Max felt like an admissions officer at Princeton, his alma mater. Lots of dudes would be waitlisted
better luck next year.
Figuring he’d bought the right to be a little self-indulgent, Max selected all the guys he liked or whose stories resonated with him. He made sure that the volunteers got to pick their favorites too. Throughout the weekend-long meeting, Jay served the role of the bad cop and kept pressing the group to pick guys who had a real chance to win the competition.
Billy the Twink made it in. So too did Spencer Davis, the Villanova senior. The athletes and military
men did well, except for the Navy Seal, who turned out to have a disqualifying injury. The MMA fighter,
Connor Fitzmaurice, was a no-brainer. The Texas brothers, one of whom was actually named
the gay couple made the cut. One guy, Ray Curry, who was selected, had climbed Mount Everest. Max found
it impossible to say
no to the two Wall Street dudes, given his own background. Cooper threatened
to crash the website if his fave frat guy Will Martin didn’t make the cut. The guys who made it tended
to be around 20-40 years old. Many of them had past spanking experience; others didn’t, but seemed motivated.
As much as Max wanted to let him in, the others convinced him to reject the dude who finished last
in his fantasy football league, making the point that the guy presumably had no incentive to do anything
other than immediately call
Uncle during Qualifiers and be done with the competition. Max ultimately
capitulated, but personally wrote his rejection email.
Figuring they owed it to Rusty for the favor he’d done them, Chad the Intern was the first to receive his official acceptance email on Super Bowl Sunday.
The following Tuesday, Rusty had Chad the Intern put over the knee of a famous dominatrix and spanked
on the air, as part of his
training, all while Rusty, Larry, and the rest of the
tips. On Friday, Rusty asked his listeners to call in and tell their best spanking stories and offer Chad
any advice they had for the competition. The response was overwhelming.
The Spanking Tournament of Champions was scheduled for mid-March. Interest from sponsors grew with the profile of the tournament, so much so that the event was actually running a surplus. Nate used the surplus to hire an actress, Lara Jones, to serve as the MC.
Check-in was Friday night, followed by a kickoff party at the hotel bar. While the guests were partying,
the organizers were feverishly finalizing judge assignments for the following day. Given the size of the
Spanking Room, a large conference room where the spankings would take place and the number of volunteers,
they divided the contestants into 10 groups of 20 for Qualifiers. Jay, Colin, and Cooper were selected
as the Spanking Judges.
On Saturday morning, at 8am sharp, the contestants, spectators, volunteers, and tournament officials all convened on the hotel’s grand ballroom for the opening ceremony.
Welcome to the inaugural Spanking Tournament of Champions! Lara began her prepared remarks,
in front of a full-capacity crowd.
Dude, that chick is smokin’ hot, Spencer whispered to Chad the Intern, whom he had met the
night before at the welcome party.
Check out those titties!
This weekend, we’re going to discover which of you will earn the right to be called spanking champion!
You’ve all been selected for your power, stamina, and determination. Even so, 199 of you
boys are going home with nothing but a sore butt, while one of you is going to walk away with $50,000—and